Do you know me? Do you know me not?

When I started working 2 months ago after my maternity leave, I have to say that the transition was not as rough as I thought it would. I resume my "working mode" pretty easily. I have other mothers asking me how was it for me the first day away from Izzul Haq. I told them it was pretty ok. I made my way outta door without having my mum kick me out the door. Izzul took it pretty well too. Yeah, we do think about each other at times. But that was it. I think my answer was something unexpected. I questioned myself if not having such emotional connection makes me less of a mother. I do wonder myself why I didn't cry or sad when I left the house. Was I that eager?
Yesterday, something happen over at my mum-in-laws place that my hubby said "That should answer your question whether you're a good mother". Izzul suddenly cried his lungs out while I was performing my prayers. He refused to quieten down although everyone was pacifying him. He was really crying with tears welling up his eyes. It was so pitiful. After my prayers, I picked him up. As if magic, he slept in my arms within 3 minutes. Despite everyone's view, I was still unsure it was mother's instict or was it just that I have learned the right technique to soothe him.