For the love of Izzul

I can't believe that the weekend is already over! Back to school tomorrow. I am just starting to enjoy waking up late and spending the entire afternoon doing nothing but snuggling up with Izzul. He has been sleeping quite a lot the last 2 days. I realise a pattern with him. After several days of active mornings and afternoons - not sleeping much - he will later restore his energy by catching up on his lost sleeps.

But we did go to Sakura for fmaily dinner on Saturday. Lin ( Ez's sister ) was sick of staying at home the last couple of days. She was on medical leave for 5 days as she had to go under some surgery to remove her wisdom tooth. Such pitiful thing. I can't imagine the pain that she was going through. Anyway, check out the photo we took at Sakura's. His cap was a lil too big for him.. hehe. He reminds me of Sudin from Seniman Bujang Lapok.

He was throwing tantrums a while ago. Each time I left him with his dad, he will start to cry. Ez was slightly affected by his child's action although he did not say. But I totally understand how he feels. I think maybe Izzul feels a little detached from his father. Ez has been quite busy lately and coming back late from work. But it wasn't Ez fault. Anyhow, how busy we are, we have to make a point to remain existant, even if we only manage to kiss them good night. I felt the same way last Friday. Izzul seems a little distant. Call me paranoid but yeah, I feel something was amiss. But we got on as usual as we spend more time over the weekend. I hope Izzul will get the idea sooner and later and forgive us for the times we are not around.

The 4 month phase

Lately, he has been waking up at 3 am or 4am for his bottle of milk. And when he does that, I will most likely to miss my first alarm at 5.30am. I will snooze it and go back to sleep. Like this morning, we woke up at 5.50am and had to rush through everything - which means, there is a high chance I'm going to forget something, and this morning, it was my mobile. Yes, the other part of me. Well, not that my life is entirely dependant on it but you got to admit it's usefulness and also.. it's habitual to check your phone once in a while. So anyways, dependant on it or not, my hubby insisted to go back and get them.
Right now, I am contemplating on whether I would like Izzul to join the Shichida Method. I know it might be a little early to think about this right now but since we don't grow money on trees, we got to work out a little planning so we can arrange for Izzul to have the best education. Izzul and his siblings that is :)
I first heard about Shichida method from my university mate who was at that time working there as a teacher. We bumped into each other in the train and she started telling me all about this method and how it will help your kid with photographic memory, artistic ability, etc.. . And this was before I got married but I kept the idea that if I have a kid one day, I might like him to join the class. And surprisingly, being a forgetful bugger, I could remember this thing although it has been almost 2 years now. It must mean something right? (you see, I'm the kind who believe in karma, signs and fate) I will learn a thing or two about this method and let you know more what it is all about.

Teaching madness

Now, I understand what my friends have been talking to me about all this while. And it is only my first day of lesson. I only had 3 classes and I already felt like I'm pulled in all directions. Well, maybe that's how one of my upper secondary students made me feel anyway. But craziness aside, I am longing to spend time with my son again. A quiet evening just with him. Seeing him giggle or shriek with laughter each time I throw him up in the air. this pic was taken at in our room at my in laws place. He loves lying on his tummy. I heard it's also good to strengthen his neck muscles. It wasn't intentional the way his hair was done. We only realize after we uploaded the photo. Don't ya think he resembles the lead from killerz? haha...

I try my best to spend a little bit of time with him, some time with my hubby and some time with my parents. And all this has to be done after work, which can be about 5 or 6 in the evening. And since Ez has to go anchorage these days, he will need to pack one-dish food from home. Don't get me wrong. I love cooking for Ez, simply because he gives honest opinion and I will always aim to exceed his expectations the next time. But I wish I have the extra hours to do my groceries and whip up something better or different than the usual. It's only too slow and mind-grinding since I'm no natural cook.

I haven't mention anything about last weekend. Maybe I'll do that on tmr since I need to get back to my lesson planning. Ciao!

New interest?

I never thought myself as a creative individual. However that never stops me from trying my hands on art and crafts. I stumbled upon the idea to learn the art of gift baskets when I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. My hospital ward was filled with gift baskets, bouquet of flowers and joyous people to celebrate the arrival of Izzul Haq. I was mesmerized by the gift baskets given to me on that day and promised to learn the art of gift basket during my 3 months maternity leave. That was the start of my new-found indulgence. I was thinking of coming up with something different and bring a whole new meaning to gift baskets. I haven't really thought how but shall try. How long will it last? We just have to wait and see. Meanwhile, I will try to squeeze in my new interest in between spending time with my son and teaching and..blah..blah... But whatever it is, I shall update here if I manage to come up with my gift baskets.

Anyway, it's a beautiful Friday morning. Because it's a holiday! Izzul is sleeping soundly. Look how adorable he looks.

Back to work

Yup, I have started work again after a 2 weeks break. Nothing much to tell on my first day (or second day I would expect) as we have to undergo a 2-day preparatory programme before entering the classroom for the first time.
Anyway, I have just uploaded a picture taken last wednesday. My newly wed brother had treat us (my family and his in-laws family ) to a sumptuous dinner at a restaurant. They too have a 4month old baby. Only 2 weeks older than Izzul. Look how adorable they look sitting on the dinner table. Of course, dinner wasn't serve yet ") but they look so cute we can eat them up anyway.

Do you know me? Do you know me not?

When I started working 2 months ago after my maternity leave, I have to say that the transition was not as rough as I thought it would. I resume my "working mode" pretty easily. I have other mothers asking me how was it for me the first day away from Izzul Haq. I told them it was pretty ok. I made my way outta door without having my mum kick me out the door. Izzul took it pretty well too. Yeah, we do think about each other at times. But that was it. I think my answer was something unexpected. I questioned myself if not having such emotional connection makes me less of a mother. I do wonder myself why I didn't cry or sad when I left the house. Was I that eager?
Yesterday, something happen over at my mum-in-laws place that my hubby said "That should answer your question whether you're a good mother". Izzul suddenly cried his lungs out while I was performing my prayers. He refused to quieten down although everyone was pacifying him. He was really crying with tears welling up his eyes. It was so pitiful. After my prayers, I picked him up. As if magic, he slept in my arms within 3 minutes. Despite everyone's view, I was still unsure it was mother's instict or was it just that I have learned the right technique to soothe him.

Dilemma

As you can see, I have religiously write in 3 days in a row. Not that I am an avid blogger in the making... but just that I have that disposable time (usually when my baby is sleeping and I have done my chores) I use to surf net, check my emails and catch up with my fav soap operas. These disposable times are contributed by the fact that I have recently resigned from Fastenal Singapore. Yes, finally I have done so. Applause! For finally dragging myself up from a comfortable position as QA Engineer and seek for something more... More what? I have got no idea. Challenge maybe, better remunerations definitely, something fulfilling I guess. All I know is that it is about time.
So what am I doing after this... TEACH! Yes, I have gotten a placement in a nearby secondary school to teach Maths and Chemistry. Am I looking forward to it? Not really. I kind of like what I'm doing right now. Spending all my time with my son. Sooo.... get to the point. What's the dilemma about? I am contemplating of joining 2 openings at separate organisations. Well, not contemplating really, since I have already submitted my resume :)
One is an engineering position. Another is graphic designing. Yes, the latter definitely is more attractive but the company have told me that they might not be able to match my expectations. There are Pros and Cons for all and I am aware of it all. I just can't make up my mind and I don't feel like deciding now.
Izzul is sleeping soundly. It has been raining for days. Good weather to sleep.
Yesterday, my brother and sis-in law brought me and Izzul to Johor Bahru in Malaysia. I haven't been there in ages. I used to frequent there while I was single. But since I got married, my husband kinda stop me from going there. He means well. He just fear our safety. But since my brother was around, he let me off for one day. Thank you Dear!
Lucky for me, Izzul was not fussy or anything. He was a doll- he played and mumbles to himself or sometimes just look at his surroundings with curiousity. Sigh... I am so going to miss him when I start to work next week.

Reading at 4 months?

Since the moment I got pregnant, I constantly remind myself that everything that I do, might in one way or another have effect on my baby. They say that if I start reading to my baby while he's still forming his toes, he will pick up the good habit. What they never say is whether the kind of book that we read will have effect also on the baby. I love reading. But.... I was a little worried that my choice of bedtime story is not exactly suitable for anyone below the age of 16. So to be entirely honest, I didn't read that much. But I remembered my nights then, filled with a lot of brainstorming sessions with my hubby. I will get to that some other time.

Anyway, I am determined to make up for those loss moments by reading to Izzul now. I am thankful that he is quite attentive when I read to him. I will regularly pause and check that I am not reading to a sleeping infant. Usually I will catch him looking at me with his huge brown eyes. At times, he will give cute little mumblings as if trying imitate my mouth movements. Same goes when I sang to him lullabies. He will try to follow. It is SO adorable.

Check out the pic I took yesterday. hehe...

3 more days to 4 month!

Finally, I got a blog! I have been postponing these for months. That will be since I gave birth about 4 months ago. Yes, a simple thing like having a blog was still a tough decision to make for me. Imagine the kind of brainstorming I was doing when I decided to get married and have a baby. Ha! You see, I have always known as "Jack of all trades but master of none". When I took up crocheting while I was pregnant, my good friend, Ros, had a good laugh. She said that she wants to see how far I will go with the "knitting" frenzy. And she was right, I didnt complete the blanket I wanted to do for my baby. Well, we just have to wait and see how long this lasts.

The reason why I am having a blog today is because being pregnant and having a baby is a miracle experience. I love sharing about Izzul Haq developments, his pictures and even when he just gurgles out some funny sounds, it is a joy. I want to capture every moment. I never knew I could love someone this much. No offence dear. I love you too... it's a different kinda love ;)

this one was taken a week ago at his cousin's 1 year old birthday party...